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October 6, 1999
A Year Without Sheep.
It has been a year
since I boarded the big silver bird and flew out from my beloved
hometown of Wellington. A year of repulsive fish and chips, a year of weird accents
and a year of bad sheep jokes. But
even without the comforts of home, it has been four full seasons of
bliss! The colours of
autumn, the rain and snow of winter, the blossoms of spring and the sun
of summer, have been some of the most terrific months of my life.
The time has flown by since this strange talking kiwi boy first
set foot on the scenic soils of British Columbia.
After almost 12 months without seeing my dearest parents, on the eve of
my 23rd birthday, Rose and Bale waltzed into the Vancouver airport,
looking healthier than ever, for a quality 3-week excursion on the
Northwest Coast of North America.
In addition some local sites we observed together, Mum and dad spent
some romantic time on their own sightseeing some of the attractions in
close proximity to Vancouver such as Victoria and Whistler.
But, the definite highlight of having them here was the 7-day
cruise up the coast to Alaska.
The Dawn Princess - a truly magnificent vessel, was our home for 7
nights. I was a bit weary
initially, after seeing the vast majority of our fellow passengers were
grey-haired and could have spun yarns about the days before the
telephone, and I was sleeping on a small pull-down bed above my snoring
father. But after a lap
around this great monstrosity, I realized that the ship could
potentially provide a superb venue for the week to come.
There was no expense spared on the Dawn Princess.
It was a very large ship, dotted with swimming pools and spas.
There were theatres at both the bow and stern of the ship, a
casino, a gym, retail stores, a library, a video games room, and in the
centre of everything, a magnificent, four-storey high, marble foyer,
complete with fake palm trees and glass lifts.
You couldn’t go for a walk without seeing someone polishing the
brass fixtures. You were made to feel like royalty. There were many different bars to buy beverages, but perhaps
the best feature on the ocean liner was the places to eat.
Lavish feasts could be consumed for free around the clock, from
numerous locations including a buffet, burger bar, pizzeria, the two
formal restaurants and of course, the trusty room service.
Breakfasts were incredible, with a colossal selection of everything you
would like for breakfast (except Watties Beans), but the formal dinners
were the highlight of the eating agenda. Fine cutlery and 5-star service set the mood for our
ritualistic 8:00pm sitting with our friendly dinner companions, a
mother, father and daughter of Chinese decent living in LA, and a
middle-aged couple from Seattle celebrating their 25th
wedding Anniversary. We
gouged ourselves with the 5-course selection of fine cuisine every
night. Originally we were
respectable, and went through the courses systematically in a civilized
manner, but after testing the limits, more and more food was ordered,
with 2-3 mains of lamb, salmon, chicken, prime rib and lobster becoming
a regular occurrence. For a
man who likes his food a lot, I was in heaven.
After dinner each night, there was usually some form of entertainment,
such as one of the nightly shows, talent quests or a quick blast in the
casino. After the olds
retired to bed, there was a ceremonial congregation of the passengers
born no earlier than 1970, at the ship’s nightclub, Jammers.
Drinking, dancing, and yacking was enjoyed by all who attended,
and after 7 nights of it, everyone knew each other pretty well. Each night, when the pub finally closed its doors, the
surviving patrons would stumble their way up to top deck, for a soak in
spa under the Alaskan sky.
There were plenty of things to keep us entertained on the ship besides
eating and drinking ourselves silly. Myself and our Asian dinner companion sung Karaoke, I got my
whipped in an organized table tennis competition by a pimply faced
12-year old, and I was feeling bad about all the food that I was eating,
so I attended the ship’s gym – quite an awesome experience, riding
on the exercycle as huge whales flicked there tails outside the window.
Mum and Dad became regulars at the art auction in one of the
ship’s lounges.
The ship made three stops at some little Alaskan towns along the way,
one of which, mum and dad were generous enough to shout us a helicopter
ride up to one of the spectacular glaciers up in the mountains.
But like all good things, the cruise came to an end.
We stayed with some neat friends of mum and dads up in Anchorage,
AL. While there, I caught
up for lunch with Victoria alumnae and law guru, Nathan Gray, who was
working at a local law firm, with a studly office overlooking the
harbour. I realized that
two short months in Alaska was enough to turn him from an average kiwi
bloke into a spiritual keeper - at one with the land. He had many
interesting stories about the great outdoors.
Back in the thriving metropolis of Vancouver, things are changing for
me. The old flatmate Karen,
moved down to an awesome job as Creative Director for a large Internet
company in Seattle. To
replace her, is one of our friends, Dave Fahey.
After numerous years of managing tree planting operations and
fishing boats and a year of living in Vietnam, Dave decided the guys
into computers were making all the money, so he took a programming
course, and is now some hotshot computer programmer.
He is very classic guy, with many tales to tell.
Although I missed Karen originally, I am enjoying not having to
put the dunny seat down and the having dinners without tofu secretly
making its way into the list of ingredients.
Living with boys again does have its downsides though, gone are
the days of fancy smelling soap and a pube-free shower wall and shower
soap.
Les and myself did a triathlon back in August, and although it nearly
killed us, we decided to rejuvenate the Shaggy Yaks and enter in the
Canada Ironman next August. It
is meant to be quite a hard event, so I think that we have a bit of work
to do.
I have started playing a bit of rugby again, so I would have
someone to watch the World Cup with.
It was great to be out on the field again, and after a few flooky
runs at number 8 in my first game back, I was honoured with the
prestigious man of the match title.
In addition to rugby, I was dragged out of bed early one Saturday
morning for a bit of Ultimate by the new flatmate, that was good fun.
Ultimate is about is big over here as touch rugby back home. I did a bit of mountain climbing, scaling the peak of one of
the highest mountains in Vancouver for a magnificent view.
One more trip to the sunshine coast and a camping trip in the
wilderness in true redneck style with guns and 4x4s were squeezed in
just before the end of summer.
The annual Net Nanny boat cruise was a night to remember.
Cruising around Vancouver harbour with drinks on the company, was
something that had to be taken full advantage of.
To add some spice to the occasion, the attire was Hawaiian as was
the music. Les and myself drew for first place in the hula
competition and the handsome Lance Craven took out best
dressed with a landslide victory.
After one year away from God’s Own, I have probably grown up a
bit. I can say hello in a
few more languages, know a hell of a lot about Internet Porn, and have
developed a disturbing addiction to 88c slices of greasy pizza, but in
all, it’s been good for me.
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